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June 10, 2004

Way hap y'all

[ At the bus-stop ]

"TOBOR MUST GATHER EQUIPMENT TO SUBDUE THE EARTHLETS. A TRELLION CONVERTER IS REQUIRED. SOON TOBOR WILL..."

"Oi. Geezer. Get on the bleedin' bus will yer?"

"PILOT. THIS CONTRIVANCE WILL TRAVEL NEAR YOUR 'TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD'?"

(Oh bloody hell we've got a right one here.)

"Yes, pal. One pound fifty."

"TOBOR CARES LITTLE FOR YOUR WORTHLESS EARTH CURRENCY. YOU ARE PRIVELIGED TO CONVEY TOBOR TO HIS DESTINATION."

"Tobor can fuck off my bus and walk, then."

"TOBOR WILL PUNISH YOUR IMPERTINENCE SOON. SEE, TOBOR HAS YOUR TRAVEL-PERMIT-CARD. TOBOR WILL CRUSH EARTHLETS BENEATH HEELS OF IMPERVIOUS ALLOY."

"Whatever. Any more of your malarkey and I'm calling the Polis. Now sit the fuck down, space-cadet."

[ At the shop ]

"SHOP-MINION? I REQUIRE A TRELLION CONVERTER. BRING ME ONE NOW."

"A what?"

"A TRELLION CONVERTER. IT IS MADE FROM SIMPLE PARTS THAT EVEN BACKWARD EARTHLET SCIENCE MAY MANUFACTURE: YOU HAVE A Z-BEAM CHASSIS MODULATOR?"

"No, we don't."

"NO MATTER. BRING ME A TRI-RAY PHASE ADJUSTER IN A DELTRON CONFIGURATION."

"We don't have one of those either."

"THIS IS INCONCEIVABLE. YOUR PLANET IS RUN BY DOLTS. GET A DYNAMIC LEPTON INFERATOR FROM YOUR STORES BEFORE TOBOR BECOMES FURTHER DISPLEASED."

"Whatever one of those is, we don't keep it and you couldn't have one if we did you pompous tin pillock. I can do you a pair of 1210s for 350 notes if you'll piss off out of my shop: You're annoying the other punters."

"TOBOR WILL OFFER 320 OF YOUR POUNDS."

"Fuck's sake. Fair enough then."

Posted by Hirez at June 10, 2004 02:16 PM

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