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February 16, 2005

Flobble the Destroyer knows where you live.

This device is powered by a small infernal combustion engine that will run on paraffin, coal-dust, buttermik, cheese, postage stamps and depression-waves broadcast at 102.4kHz. The outer skin is a carbon-fibre/marzipan composite mounted on a wicker chassis. Its armaments include radishes, boils, lumbago, starlings, Leominster town center and a bag of peas. Overall control is maintained by a miniature clockwork brain that passes messages to the extremities by means of beetles travelling along lengths of damp string.

It generally attacks provincial amateur dramatic societies, builder's merchants, Sailsbury axles, Ford 9-bolt diffs, the A470 and the perpetrators of street theatre.

It is impervious to both sarcasm and small-arms fire. Approach with extreme caution.

Posted by Hirez at February 16, 2005 03:23 PM

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