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April 15, 2005

Flobble the Destroyer vs. The MechaZazz.

Great green grating noises emanated from behind the municipal bus garage as the MechaZazz awoke to discover that an Avgas hangover makes you really foul-tempered. "Stomp! Stomp! Fucking bollocks! Stomp!" it went in voice and boots of Titanium. Buses and drivers shat themselves at the terrible sound and evacuated the area left and right. You wait around for ages and then th... Fuck me it's the entire bloody set of them pelting past at sixty and humming quietly of sick and turds.

The MechaZazz didn't care. It had a hangover the size of a Japanese fighting robot and a terrible thirst for a gallon of brake fluid. If any Japanese robots wanted fighting, they were going to get their cogs kicked off and handed to them. It clanked off in search of a dodgy garage with a lax attitude to the disposal of hazardous waste. Or a fridge. Or a long and cold carboy of mercury with an organophosphate chaser.

Instead, it chanced upon Flobble the Destroyer crunching noisily on a bag of concrete in a builder's merchant car-park.

"Learn to fucking eat with your terrible and child-like mouth closed, you fucker." Went the MechaZazz.

"y0U aND wH0's coCk1nG ArMY, g1RLie?" Went Flobble, in a voice that sounded like a broken vocoder dragging its transistors down a mile-long blackboard. For good measure, it aimed a blast of depression-waves at the MechaZazz, like the nasty-minded wee pink mutant child-faced killer rabbit android it was.

The MechaZazz shook its shower-hose-dreaded head, which only made the hangover worse. Jumping on something that small and that pink seemed very slightly wrong, even if it was waving a bag of peas in a threatening manner, jumping up and down and howling "cHr0me cUNt! ChroMe CuNT!" at the top of whatever passed for its lungs.

Oh, bollocks to it.

"Will you shut the fuck..."
STOMP!
EEEEEEeeeeeeepkkzzz...bip.
"... Up!"

Now, about that DOT-4...

Posted by Hirez at April 15, 2005 11:41 PM

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